Plaidman Out Climbing

Moving Content to OregonLive.com

2009-12-23T11:09:00.000-08:00

I am in the process of moving the content here to blog.OregonLive.com/climbing
I will move it back in the future.

Plaidman

Searching For Gorge Ice

2009-12-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Searching For Gorge Ice

12/5/2009

It was cooling down in the Columbia River Gorge. I could see ice forming on the upper water falls on both sides of the river. Rick McDonald my ice climbing partner was just itching to try out his new ice tools. So a reconnaissance was in order. Mist Falls is the first ice to form normally in the Gorge as it is North facing and has a misty fall, hence the name. This mist falls from about 200 feet above the lower cascading section. The upper portion of the cliff is undercut and the headwall juts out from the face, so this allows the mist to blown about like a big sprinkler. It was really early in the season to expect that ice had formed but I could not tell from the road. The falls are located just West of Multnomah Falls and there is parking just below Mist Falls on the Old Columbia River Highway. The approach is short so taking a look would not require too much effort.
On gaining the cascade at the bottom of the falls the ice was about 3/8 of an inch. Not much to look at. The mushrooms had not even started forming. As the ice builds it billows up into mushroom and pillows of ice. Layer after layer build as the water mists from side to side. So at times the sloping cascade will be a series of steps up to the rock face above. With a 70 meter rope the rock face can be reached where there are bolted anchors to rappel down off of. But there would be no ice climbing today. I made my report to Rick and he suggested we go out again the next day and look at a few other sites of other ice flows.

Rick picked me up at 8:30 am and off we headed to check out Ainsworth Left. This is an ice waterfall that is near St. Peters Dome East of Multnomah Falls. We has never been up to see it but it is on the tick list of a friend of ours Ben. So with some sketchy directions and Tim Olson’s guide to Gorge Classic Climbs I was able to discern the approach to this climb. We proceeded up from the Ainsworth camp ground. The trail starts from the parking lot on the East end and crosses a bridge. After .2 miles it joins another trail and we proceeded West to the first large rock filled gully/stream bed. Then it was straight up to the bottom of the ice flow. Ainsworth Left is left of a large canyon that ends in an amphitheater. Rick walked up left of the canyon to the bottom of the ice flow. This thing is huge. The first and second pitches look doable. With think we can make it up at least 4 pitches, as there are definite steps and pools to rest and set up solid belays. But the upper section is going to require a real mean experienced ice climber. That can be Ben’s pitch. Don’t know if it has been done in the past. The upper section looks real burly and long. In looking at the whole flow I think that the climb could go in not less than 5 pitches. We will see.

Rick and I ran down and got lunch and headed to look at Cabin Creek and a flow just West of it. I thought the flow would come in as it cascades over rocks and could build into WI2. WI stands for waterfall ice. Here is a link to the grading system: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_climbing#Waterfall_ice_grading

We looked at it but it seemed to be only 30 ft tall and the water fall above comes out of a man made tunnel. We were not sure why the water was diverted but it is definitely man made. The tunnel is directly across from the O.D.O.T. weight station just West of Starvation Creek. Starvation Creek is just East of Cascade Locks on the Oregon side of the Columbia River Gorge. After looking at the disappointing possibilities we decided to explore the trail #414 which goes from Starvation Creek rest area and proceeds West passing Cabin Creek and goes up to Mt. Defiance. We were hoping to solve the mystery of the tunnel through the rock so up we hike the trail We came to a split in the trail and turned left. Proceeding East we were taken up to a prominent ridge and after realizing the trail had taken us well above the fall we did not feel up to bushwhacking above the falls to solve the mystery. On our return moving West and from the ridge we could see what turned out to be Warren Creek. We were very excited as it was one that we had seen from I-84 many times. From the split in the trail that we had turned left on previously we went straight west and passed the split in the trail. We did not walk far maybe a ¼ mile. Warren Creek had some ice forming and it looks like when it is in it will be a good one. WI2 maybe WI3 would be the grade for the lower section near the trial. We could see at least 2 or three steps and pool sections from the trail. I wanted to see higher so we moved up and climbed the hillside to the left of the water fall.
There is a split in the cliff face that allowed us to gain the upper section of the water fall and we were standing next to and slightly above the upper section of the water fall. WOW! It looks great and the ice was already forming on the cascading sections. The pool we were standing above had a cascading section of WI3 with a good rest before starting a section of WI4. We had a great day of getting ready for the up coming season which can be short in the Columbia River Gorge. So you have to hit it hard and fast if you want to get some.

Videos:
Mist Falls Columbia River Gorge checking out the ice #1 Early season ice climbing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4wi4uPPC9k
Mist Falls Columbia River Gorge checking out the ice #2 Early season ice climbing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5AiKUZ99j0
Mist Falls Columbia River Gorge #3 Ice is not thick. 3/8 of an inch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04EvYLq8co0

Ainsworth Left Ice Water Fall #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR5k6vaC5KU

Ainsworth Left Ice Water Fall #2
Bad wind. Turn down volume before watching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeSR5cHDGLI

Ainsworth Left Ice Water Fall #3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFx_kfuNca4

Ainsworth Left Ice Water Fall #4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poQ9RsBrncY

Smith Rock Detour 2009

2009-09-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Trip: Smith Rock Detour - Smith Rock Oregon

Date: 9/19/2009

Trip Report:
The Smith Rock Detour is an EVENT not to be missed.
I had the time of my life. Thank you Climb Max Mountaineering for putting together this unique event. You all did a fantastic job.
I headed down on Friday night and split gas with someone to manage expenses. For the price of registration, the Smith Rock Detour was so way worth it.

The Self Rescue Clinic was awesome. Our instructor from Timberline Mountain Guides Ben Randall was very knowledgeable and was clear and had great ways of communicating the voluminous amount of information. Escaping the belay, setting up hauling systems and transferring a load from one system to another were the topics covered. Knots, preventative measures, pick off were also covered.

Ben would show us what to do and why. His demonstrations and explanations of the various systems were followed by hands on practice. Our team of three set out to build a 5 to 1 hauling system and ended up with an 18 to 1. Helpful if you are going to bring your car up to the belay to listen to tunes. Ben assisted us on how to build the 5 to 1 correctly. We all had a blast. After 5 hours of instruction I had info leaking out of my ears. Thumbs up to Timberline Mountain Guides.

After all that I need to go climb. Two of the guys from the clinic jumped on a couple of routes and then it was on to dinner and hanging out with all the folks. Climbers are the most awesome bunch of folks to hang with.

Then it was the Reel Rock Film Tour. WOW. It is a must see. Alex Honnold's solo of Half Dome was way off the sick scale. I shook my head in utter amazement. The assents by the North Face team and Chris Sharma were awe inspiring.

Breakfast was great and then some more climbing. My partner led The Outsiders 5.9 At one point he said hey there is a birds egg perched on the ledge in this Hueco. It was further in yesterday. Somebody's rope is going to knock this off and make a mess. It is cracked though. So after finishing it I climbed up, and there it was a little egg. I climbed past and on the way down I thought I would remove the objective danger. And I as I started to lift the egg off the mother pigeon that was hiding in the hole almost peck my finger off. I sure was glad I didn't let go of my repel line. I dropped the egg and had to yell EGGGGG! Everyone ran away and the egg smacked the ground and my partner yelled "Hey the baby bird just flew away out of the egg after it hit the ground." Everyone said no way. He said was way. We didn't believe him. Man the mother bird was pissed off cause the next guy that went up yelled after the bird attached him when he tried to grab a handhold. The egg was cracked so I think the mother was pushing it out of her nest. I was just trying to make sure the muck didn't end up in some girls hair. Bad hair day at Smith. Not fun.

Then it was on to the heinous start of 9 Gallon Buckets.
I struggled for 15 mins. trying to get up on it. I then used the old stand on your helmet trick taught to me by an inspired climber trying to get on the Surf Board on Ancient Art at Fischer Towers Utah. I had always wanted to try that. It worked well enough to get me to the big Hueco on the next route to the right. Then I had to traverse over to Nine Gallon Buckets. Totally cheated and only made it to the first anchor. Dismal performance.
I was told that the start now is something like 5.11. It is definitely mean and hard. I guess I will have to get meaner or lighter. Lighter probably. Maybe harder.

The weekend was a grand adventure with benefits to be had from the new climbing partners I met, the added knowledge from the clinic, and the Reel Rock Film Tour are just the highlights.
The Smith Rock Detour is now going to be on the list of must attend events from now on.

Plaidman

South Platte Slapped

2009-09-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

South Platte Slapped
8/20 – 8/25/2009

Granite brings to my mind good rock, memories of great climbing, and Colorado.
I had been invited for another climbing trip with my friend and climbing partner Chris.
The plan had been in motion since he bought my plane fare 4 months previous.
We would climb for at least 5 days and try to keep the driving to a minimum.
As the time got closer Chris had a knee injury and the plan needed to be revised.
Flexibility and patience are attributes that I find helpful in climbing and life in general.
We decided that a day of rest and acclimatization would be helpful so we started out slow. Friday the 21st we drove up to an area that we had climbed before and decided that we would re-climb a classic crack climb. Classic Dihedral is a as the name would indicate a classic. I had led this climb several times and remembered it well. I would lead and Chris would clean. The day was hot and the rock was warm. The crack was in the full sun. The lead is 160 ft. and very straight forward. My confidence was up, so off I went. A few bouldery moves off the deck and then up to the shelf. Good so far. Engaged the crack and there it was. Ouch my feet. I forgot that the first few moves after establishing yourself in the crack had teeth. Suck it up get the first two pieces in and move. Stay calm I coached myself. After a few moves upward the flow was on. It felt good to be on granite again after a diet of Andesite (a rock type typical to the Pacific Northwest).
The climb was hot and being in the full on sun made it a grade harder. If we had waited a couple of hours it would have been in the shade. It was good training, maybe not good training, but training none the less.
The top of the crack widens to a flake at the top. I had a choice lay it back or toe heel. Toe heal was the way to go today. As it continued to widen I employed a chicken wing and knee bar. Lay backing on lead is so committing. Stepped left and I was at the anchor. Bliss. What a beautiful spot being on top of Bucksnort Slab in the sun with no wind.
Chris cleaned the route and we rapped and left.

Classic Dihedral 5.7
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/pine_area/105751567

Saturday we decided to go to Eleven Mile Canyon another favorite from my early days of climbing. A short approach to the base of the rock and more Granite crack and face climbing. We chose Arch Rock Direct. This is a fun 5.8 with awesome cracks and the crack eats up gear. It was requested by Chris that I use no nuts for protection as the route is easily protected with cams. Climbing like this would be easier to clean and faster for both of us. I tried to lead the direct start. Made a couple of attempts and finally pulled on a piece of gear and made it over the difficult and awkward 5.9 start. It will remain on the list as unfinished business. The 1st pitch was a warm up. The second pitch requires a run out chimney that you can protect with a mental piece of gear. The consequences of a fall would not be good. As I neared the top I needed to move left out of the nice ledgey filled wonderful chimney and out to perform some dicey face moves.
I arrived at the belay spot at the top. We chose this location so that we could communicate without the interference from the wind. Chris followed and lead past me to the summit and then the walk off in our climbing shoes. At this point I felt a pain in a muscle above me knee. Ow. Not now I have two more days of climbing to do. I hobbled and tried to walk without a limp. I surmised that it was going to hurt whether I favored the leg or if I walked normally. Suck it up and make my body obey. It works sometimes.
The mind is a terrible thing in the wrong hands.
We moved on to the next climb. Hollow Flake was open with no climbers on it, and the 2nd pitch is a route named Persistence. Hollow Flake 5.6 is something that I had led before and is a fun layback flake that eats up gear and has good rests all the way up. It was fun and more Granite. I was getting a full plate of what I wanted. Made it to the belay and brought Chris up. We set up for Persistence. Persistence has 10 bolts to the anchors. I placed a #3 Camalot just under the roof and proceeded up. This is a real balancey move on a small crystal. I made it up to just under the 3rd bolt and came to a screeching halt. The sun was baking me. This was friction slab at its best or worst depending on your point of view. Chris was wondering why it was taking me so long.
He was sending up encouraging information on how to get it done. Kind of like a football coach. I was about 6 inches below the bolt reaching up as far as I could. I had to do a high step from a stance and get my foot above my waist. The leverage was wrong. My shoes were not sticking on the 70 degree Granite slab. I was unwilling to go up and unwilling to fall. The combination of sun, adrenaline, and the lack of commitment had fried my mind and body. Finally after lowering off and climbing up again to the same point I was done. I was slapped down by the South Platte friction slab Granite. I was disgusted with myself. Chris was not happy as he thought I should have finished it and his knee was killing him. After he got to my high point he realized after easily reaching up and making the clip on the bolt, that my arm length could have been a deciding factor in why I was having so much trouble. He is a tall 6’ 2” and I being a stubby 5’ 7”. Even with that I could see that I have a lot of work to do. I am certainly not the badass climber that I had thought I was. I had been South Platte slapped. Ouch. It was a good thing though to get a reality check as to where I really am as a climber. The rock will tell. We were done after finishing that climb. It was time to rest for tomorrow.

Arch Rock Route 5.8
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/elevenmile_canyon/105764490

Hollow Flake 5.6
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/elevenmile_canyon/105753064

Persistence 5.9
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/elevenmile_canyon/105763968

Sunday Chris tried calling a few climbers to see if anyone was available to do climb Cynical Pinnacle by way of the Center Route. We got a call from Ben. Ben had been referred to us by another climber. The recommendation was enough to instill confidence in his ability to lead the route. We interviewed him and he checked out with us. We met in the parking lot at 1:45 p.m. and headed off by way of what we thought would be an easier approach. Almost 2 ½ hours later we were at the base of the climb. We had waited so late so that the route would be in the shade. It was 4:00 p.m. before we started the climb. I gave Ben the first pitch as I thought it would give him momentum going into the 2nd pitch crux. Besides I had already led the 1st pitch last year. I did not tell Ben that I was dizzy and felt like I was going to puke on his shoes. Altitude and the heat were taking it’s toll. He flew up the 1st pitch I followed and cleaned. He smoked the 2nd pitch crux of the route in 16 min. I took off after managing the rope I was dragging. I needed to pull it and flake it in a pod to make sure the wind didn’t get it stuck in a crack. The crack was beautiful. Hand over hand. Great feet. Where my feet got tired I was able to smear on the face. About have way up I was huffing and puffing so hard that I had to stop. My mouth was a dry gapping hole and my tongue was starting to swell up to the point that it was difficult to force enough air into my starving lungs. I had water so I made a jam with my hand had a solid stance with my feet stuffed in the crack grabbed the water and took a long drink. Chris was down at the base with binoculars and a stopwatch. He said as he watched he could not believe what he was seeing. “Did he really just stop to take a drink of water?” It was either that or collapse from heat exhaustion. I continued up and finished the pitch with no falls and no tension on the rope in 17 min according to Chris’s stopwatch. Ben had threatened that he was going to make me lead the last pitch. Upon arriving at the belay he wanted me to lead past up to the pod above him. Making that move was very interesting I used the nest of webbing as a step of an aid ladder and hauled myself up and pleaded with Ben to take the next pitch. He said he had always wondered if he could lead all three pitches. I said today is your day. Ben took off and finished the pitch and put me on belay. I French freed the last few moves by pulling on gear and flopped up on the top of the 3rd pitch. It was 7:00 p.m. and we needed to get off.
Darkness was approaching and the crux of the route is the approach to the base and the trail leading to the bottom. It has to be one of the worst trails ever. The trail is covered with exfoliated Granite the size of marbles. To descend this in the dark was torture. To add to the misery my knee started acting up again. The muscle was cramping and threatening to just seize up, while my pack was attempting to throw me down the hill.
We made it off with headlamps. I carry two with me and gave one to Ben. We made it off thanked Ben and got into the car. I felt like I had been beaten with a bat. We had made a date to go out in the morning with another climber. I made up my mind that I would not even decide whether I was going in the morning or not. I knew in the state of mind I was in I would not be making a rational decision. I was cooked. Another great climb ticked off the list. But not really I would like to have done it in better style. So this route stays on the list.

Center Route 5.9+
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/cathedral_spires_area/105748816

Morning came too early. Chris woke me up and I shuffled to the bathroom. I could hardly move. I thought when I get to climb El Cap I will certainly feel just as bad. Just keep moving I told myself. As I moved I felt better and better.
We were meeting David at Starbucks at 9:00 a.m. He and his wife and I were going to climb the Martyr. One of the best crack climbs in the state. When we arrived I shook David’s hand and I knew I was going. I could tell this guy can climb. He informed us that his wife would not be going with us as the rain was threatening and we would need to climb fast. I ran in to get my go juice. I got a Grande coffee with 2 shots of espresso and an inch of ice so I can drink it fast. Chris told me “This guy moves fast so you will need to really move it to keep up.” That fired me up and I just focused my mind to keep moving. We made it to the base of the climb with the clouds threatening. David led off and finished the first pitch in 16 mins. He built the anchor pulled up the rope and yelled on belay Scott. 20 secs later I yelled climbing. I cleaned the pitch and was off belay in 12 mins. Chris was again at the base timing the climb. We exchanged gear and David lead the 2nd pitch crux in 10 mins I followed and cleaned it in 10 mins. The goal is for the 2nd climber to clean the pitch in half the time. But to match his time was good. The rock on this pitch was beautiful. The rock was the most amazing Granite. Every hand jam was perfect. Feet slotted into the rock easily. I was climbing so smoothly. I was flowing up the rock. Not thinking just moving dynamically. Every hold was there on demand. I was one with the rock. We got to the 3rd pitch and David had a hidden treat. We needed to make a traverse about 300 ft off the deck on little ledges for the feet and almost nothing for the hands. David gave me specific instructions on what to do. He made it to the belay and yelled “Off belay”. It was my turn. I climbed. I did not think about climbing. I moved. It was like I was in a meditative state. Everything was so clear and right now. I was so present. The rock and the movement was all I was conscious of. The rope led up into a small upside down cave. It was like bomb bay doors. There was nothing below me for over 300 feet. The holds were large and the foot holds were there, but the consequences of a fall would have been a swing into space. It is just better not to fall in some situations and this was one of them. I would have been fine as long as my heart did not explode from an overload of adrenaline.
I removed the last piece and moved out with feet and hands engaged. Out of the Bat Cave I climbed. I reached the end of the roof after 5 or 10 ft and slammed my arm into the crack above with an arm bar. I was locked in and was not coming off. I continued by throwing my leg around the arête at the end of the cave and threw my other arm into the crack. Moved my feet up, made a couple of more hand jams and I was at the summit. Combined time between us 20 mins. 10 for David 10 for me. WOW!!! This had to be the best climb of my life. I figured the best way to thank David and Chris was to climb well. We got ourselves off the summit and back to the packs just as the rain started to spit.
David was a very inspiring climber and I was able to rise to the challenge in the face of physical pain and mental fatigue. I was so ecstatic it was really a privilege to have been able to climb such beautiful rock with a master of the stone like David.

The Martyr 5.9
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/colorado/colorado_springs/old_stage_road/105756922

I had to thank Chris for putting himself out there to find partners for me to climb with. I had the time of my life and climbed 4 out of 6 days. This has to be one of the best climbing trips yet. And the adventure continues.

Scott Peterson/Plaidman August 26, 2009

Climbing Gear Ninja

2009-06-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

You gotta see my buddy playing with his climbing gear after drinking whiskey.

Force Feeding The Rat - Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008

2008-10-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

What would you say if your climbing partner called you and said “If you can get the time off work I will pay for half your plane fare and cover most of your expenses to climb with me in Colorado?” It took me all of two seconds to say yes. Then I started thinking what it would take to get it done. He also added that I needed to lose as much weight as possible. My target was 15 pounds. It would be doable in a two-month time frame. I had just got custody of my twelve-year-old son and needed to find a suitable place for him to stay for four days. I did not even care what we climbed. I was hankering for Colorado granite. My partner informed me that the name of the tour was going to be the Force Feeding The Rat Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008. We planned on climbing Cynical Pinnacle, The Center route 5.9+. It’s three pitches. He offered to let me have the on-sight lead of the first and third pitch. I agreed. He would get the second pitch, which is the crux. Then for the second day we would go to Estes Park at Lumpy Ridge to climb Conan’s Gonads 5.9 and the Wolf’s Tooth 5.8. I had my eye on the Wolf’s Tooth for 2 years. I had scouted out the approach up the Roosting Ramp on Twin Owls and the walk off descending the Bowels of the Owls. The Bowels was all frozen and full of ice and snow when I looked at it. But I had a good idea that it was a good way off the climb. I was psyched. The third day was a toss up. We talked about doing Spearhead in Rocky Mountain National Park. I was thinking maybe the North Ridge Route 5.6, but my partner had the Sickle 5.9 in mind. I was not anticipating a good time on an alpine route after a 6-mile hike at 10,000 ft above sea level. The climb tops out at around 13,000 ft. To say the least I was intimidated as I now live at 30 ft. above sea level. After talking the route through and the logistics of the area we decided against Spearhead. We already had an ambitious plan. To top the four days of climbing we were lining out, we decide that Vedauwoo, Wyoming (the land of off width climbing) would be the best way to shove as much food down the Rat’s gullet. The Rat is that creature that lives in the belly of most climbers. Maybe not all but most climbers have this inner adversary. I know my Rat well. It is he that chews on my insides and says really insensitive things like. You’re not really a climber. What have you done recently? Why do you have all that really cool gear? You aren’t really going to get to the level you are shooting for. This incessant chatter and gnawing really is awful in the winter and in those years that you have used all your vacation time up. I have even climbed in the rain to get the Rat off my back. Well now the Rat was going to be fed. And the Rat was ecstatic, the scarier and harder the better as far as the Rat was concerned. But we were planning to punish the Rat.

The Rat is not an original idea. I was introduced to the concept by the book authored by Al Alvarez. The book is the biography of Mo Anthoine. Very inspiring and puts a name to the drive that makes me want to climb.

Now I needed to get training and prepare mentally. On my part I planned on climbing in the rock climbing gym at least three times a week and only do laps on the finger and hand jam cracks at the gym and climb outside as much as possible. I started with my usual 100 pushups a day and 400 crunches. I started building up my pull-ups again also. It seems that if I don’t keep doing pull-ups I lose the ability. I was disgusted at only doing 3 without my arms exploding. My goal was to get up to 50 a day. I only got up to 35. The Rat laughed at me. The one exercise that I think has been the greatest contributor to my stamina when traditional technical lead climbing are rolling planks. The exercise goes like this. Start with a standard plank and hold that position for one minute. Then after one minute roll from both elbows to one side into the side plank position and hold that for one minute, after that roll to the other elbow for another minute, for a grand total of three minutes. I also add flexing moves and stretching with the free arm when I am in the side plank position. I visualize making stemming moves and holding positions while placing gear on lead. If I am really feeling badass then I raise my leg while in the side plank, which helps with balance and building stemming stamina.

I have something I say to myself to keep me going when I train to climb. I ask “Did you bring it to the Mountain?” Because the Mountain does not care whether you did bring it or if you did not bring what was needed. The Mountain doesn’t care if you can climb it or whether you do climb it. If you don’t bring what it is going to take to get the climb done, it may be your last climb. The Mountain does not care that you are or what you have done in the past. It is up to you and whether you have prepared and done your part. The summit is only half way and you need to bring enough stamina and mental sharpness to get down and back home.

I love this poem of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s

“Cast the bantling on the rocks,

Suckle him on the she-wolfs teat

Wintered with the hawk and fox,

Power and speed be hands and feet.”

This poem is the opening to Emerson’s essay Self Reliance. To me it is a climber’s poem.

It reminds me that if it is going to get done I must prepare and be willing to train with a vengeance, discipline and thoughtfulness. Thinking through what is reasonable and prudent. And above all else have fun doing it. Even when it hurts. It is kind of fun just see if you can do it. Like losing the weight for the trip. I lost 15 pounds. I made the goal and was feeling great.

This trip was the trip of a lifetime, with not just any climbing partner. This was a climbing extravaganza with my mentor, my coach, and my friend. Like Morpheus in the Matrix offered Neo the red pill or the blue pill. He gave Neo the choice. Take the blue pill and go back to life as you knew it before or take the red pill and I will show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Of course I took the red pill and the Rat was born.

We made a deal that if I climbed with him wherever he wanted to climb when he wanted to climb that he would train me to be a trad lead climber. I jumped at the opportunity. I weighed 215 pounds when I met him. I am now at 175 pounds and in the best shape of my life. I used to think round was a shape. I am now more rectangular. A better shape I think.

Within two years I was leading 5.9 and on-sighting 5.8 solidly. Now I am on-sighting 5.9. I am just starting to move on to 5.10a routes. What a privilege.

We needed to decide on when to do this trip. Based on our best thinking with school starting for my son, the weather patterns in Colorado and the weight I had to lose. My partner said pick a date. We chose the forth weekend in August. So it was on “Force Feed The Rat. Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008”.

I was worried about several things. One going from sea level to 8000 ft and climbing 5.9 and 5.8 off width would maybe be difficult. My partner had told me he was climbing real hard and moving through climbs like a climbing machine. I’ve seen him climb like that. For me it means I have to make 3 moves to his one as he has a reach from him being 6 inches taller than I am. I call this his version of aid climbing. I have threatened that he should have to touch every placement with his elbow before he can use it. It’s only fair.

I am not complaining, or am I? Hmmm.

I prepared myself for these challenges mentally and physically. I used to work at 9000 ft. above sea level for 6 ½ years building log homes in Grand Lake Colorado. Swinging 16 pound sledge hammers driving spikes through logs for up to three days at a time. Hand peeling logs with a drawknife and chopping the knots off with a double bitted ax. Running chainsaws daily on ladders 15 to 20 feet off the ground. So I mentally told myself that that kind of training might have enlarged my heart to be able to metabolize oxygen more efficiently. I almost believed that. I took the best action I could physically. I got out and on sight led a moderate 5.7 multi-pitch climb to make sure I had the head for placing gear. That went well. I also had gained the summit of Mt. Hood earlier in the year. 11,265 ft. In preparations for that trip I started hydrating by increasing my water intake for two days before the trip. My theory was that most people have problems with altitude because of dehydration. As a result of my action on that previous trip I had no ill effects and was able to summit in a reasonable time frame.

So this trip I did the same. I started drinking more water and kept it up on the plane ride to Colorado.

I arrived in Denver at 9:24 am with little sleep. I have always told myself I climb better with little sleep. It seems to work. The Rat doesn’t really mind. It may even shut it up. I got off the plane and it was on. We grabbed some food to go at the airport and rushed to the car. We were on the road headed to Estes Park and Lumpy Ridge.

We arrived at about 12:00 pm at the parking lot and organized the gear and decided that we would climb up to the via Conan’s Gonads to the Roosting Ramp on Twin Owls and stash a pack there and continue up the Wolf’s Tooth. My partner had already done the reconnaissance on how to get the start of Conan’s Gonads 5.9 http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105763716

He would take that lead and I would get the Wolf’s Tooth 5.8+

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105749089

We would descend the Bowls of the Owls 5.0

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105763068

My partner took off leading at 1:00 pm. I started off at 1:38 pm.

I flew from sea level to 8000 ft within hours of the start of the climb and me following a 5.9 route with a pack I hate climbing with a pack. And it was the pack that I particularly hate that I had to carry. This pack will not allow your head to tilt back so that you can look up. The profile is too tall. But I made up my mind to climb around this difficulty and make it work. I made the first few moves and the jams were to die for. I was cooing and rejoicing in the smearing and jamming. It was so good I hardly remembered I had the pack on. I finished following and cleaning the route in 23 mins.

We re-racked and stashed the pack. And I was off. The first 15 feet were perfect hand jams, and then it got hard.

I knew that there was on off width section to contend with but it really took me by surprise how difficult and awkward it was. I really like off widths. I am kind of sick that way. This off width crack was a real struggle. I have the body made for off widths. I am small to average size. I am not a great climber, but I am mean. I have the tenacity to stick with it and leave a little skin if need be. An off width is that perplexing feature in rock climbing that will not take the largest hand jamming technique and not large enough to fit your whole body into. Now there is the double fist jam, but I don’t have the balls to pull that one off.

I was really at my limit on this climb. I was exhausted after 40 feet or so. I jammed my arm with a good arm bar jammed my knee in the crack and rested, breathed deeply and remembered all the preparation I had done. I adjusted my technique a bit and by jamming both my arms up to my shoulders into the off width crack with one arm above the other then kicking my legs completely free then by folding my body upwards in a sit-up of crunch move I jammed my feet and knee until I got enough friction to move my arms up. I was doing upside down chick wings with my triceps on one side and my hand on the other side of this hideous crack from hell and enjoying every upward movement. Finally I had time to rest when I moved into the chimney section. I found great gear all the way up and didn’t even use the battle-axe #6 Camalot. The bane of my existence is the bringing of too much gear for the climb. My theory is for an on sight climb I would rather have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. I made it to the top of the pitch just below the top of the tooth. I was elated. I got it done. No falls. No takes. This was a clean free climb assent. A climbers dream. My dream. A project finished. Now to it was my partners turn. He was thinking what is taking him so long. Well I will make up time here and charge up this thing. He struggled. He cursed the crack. He said things like I wouldn’t drive 3 miles to do this climb I can’t believe you flew over 1200 miles to do this rotten climb. It took me an hour to lead it and he took an hour of struggling to follow the climb. He is not of the body build that lends itself well to the off width or chimney. He could not get any leverage. He said near the top “You are a freak! How did you lead that?” I was smiling from ear to ear. My partner was fried. His forearms where smoked. I offered the next lead to him. He said no way. I am done just get us off here the easiest way you can. I started looking at the next lead and he said don’t even look over there. That is the easiest way there and pointed. I started off again. It was not that easy to start off but it backed off right away and soon we were at the top of the Twin Owls. Now we needed to descend into the Bowels of the Owls. Like I said I knew the general direction but we had to look around. We saw a rappel sling around the base of a rock where some one had bailed off. It looked like they got a lucky day as we chose to keep searching for the Bowels of the Owl and not use the sling. We finally found the Bowels. It was a tube like feature chimney thing. We were chewed up by the Wolf and now we where getting extruded by the Owl. The Rat had full meal deal. We descended and made it to the trail grabbed our pack from the Roosting Ramp and away to the car.

It was starting to get later in the day and soon the sun would be setting. We need to get to the store and get supplies to have food for the evening and the next morning and then drive 140 miles to the next climb. Cynical Pinnacle and the Center Route.

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/cathedral_spires_area/105748816

We rolled into the parking lot and my partner was adamant. Get in, get out, get what we need and repack the car, eat and get on the road. As we walked in I was trying to get him to give me is knife so I could get my tape gloves off. I was thinking we are going to look ridiculous wearing these things in this store. He told me to forget it we did not have time to take them off. I thought well I guess he is right I don’t live here and I will never see these people again. So we pulled our supplies of the shelves threw them into the cart. I was searching for the bug spray while my partner got it line. When I got back he was at the Customer Service Counter with a manager waiting on him. It seems that while waiting in line my partner saw a checker just standing in front of her check line doing nothing. He asked if she was open. She indicated that she was just waiting for the next person that is ready to check out. Well that would be me he said. She must have not liked his tone and eventually said something snotty like You People. Indicating that we climbers were the lowest of the low in town and the town would be better off with out us. That set my partner off and he told her he wanted to speak to the manager. The manager straightened it out. If only we had removed the tape maybe we would have blended better.

We escaped the store with our supplies and unloaded all our gear like gypsies in the parking lot, ate and packed and re-packed all the gear. We were moving fast. We needed to get on the road. I started to pack things in the car and my partner told me what you are doing not there. I said where would you like me to put this? He asked me you really didn’t think you were not going to be mentally scared on this trip did you. We laughed as the tension was getting a little elevated. We finished the packing and eating and got on the road. My partner asked can you do me a favor my arms are so smoked can you open this can of soda for me. I had really done it. The route had really done my partner in.

But it was The Pain Is Not an Option Tour and the Rat was more than full. The Rat was gorged, but the Rat is bulimic and was quickly sticking its paw down its throat and barking for more. It is a rather large Rat.

We rolled into our campsite at 11:00 pm. We shoved more food down out throats and then my partner asked can you help my with my tent I am shot. I got him squared away then he threw me the bivy bag told me he was setting the alarm for 5:00 am and said goodnight. I had never slept in a bivy sack. It is like an over sleeping bag. My partner had never used it either. He gave me an inflatable air pad. I shoved the air pad in and then my sleeping bag and crawled in. The bag comes with mosquito netting and the suggestion on the instructions is not to zip the outer lining up all the way so you don’t suffocate. I think the suffocating part was the last thing on my mind before drifting off to sleep because in the middle of the night the mosquito netting had managed to cover my mouth and I awoke with the feeling that I had been buried alive in a sarcophagus of death. It was all I could do not to rip open the mosquito netting and run screaming into the night. I finally got the zipper to work and decided that be eaten alive by mosquitoes was better than dying of asphyxiation.

I awoke to my partner calling my name. He told me that it was 5:00 am. He told me not to rush. I moved as quickly as possible. Grabbed some food. Gulped down a Starbucks double shot coffee in a can. It was a cold one. It had been on ice all night.

We packed the gear and were on the road. I was not looking forward to making the hike up the climbers trail to the base of Cynical Pinnacle. This is a heinous hike when you are not sore and running on little sleep. I remembered the theme of the trip. Pain is not an option. The Rat was even groggy. We arrived at the base and started the slog up the hill. The trail is more like a deer of goat path. Just like a climber’s trail. Now you see it. Now you don’t, and straight up. We made good time in spite of the marble size bits of exfoliated granite from above. It took us one-hour twenty mins. to make the approach. Now we needed to find the start of our route. My partner pointed to a ledge system that ended in a left leaning crack. He said that is were we started. I thought he said it was 5.7. A moderate start and well with in my range of ability. I racked up with the gear and started up. I mounted the ledge system and engaged the left leaning crack. The hand jams were solid but where was I going to place my feet. I started to smear. It was a little too steep for that maneuver to work well. I looked for nubbins or small ledges. Even dime edge sized ones would have helped. I think they were down on the path that we just came up. I struggled and bitched and whined. My partner told me he placed one #1 Camalot and just reached over and side pulled on a feature to the left. This suggestion was coming from a man that has the wingspan of a California condor. Which is 9 feet 1 inch. I just looked it up on Google. I reminded him I am not that tall and that I would need to go higher to make the same move. But then I would be above that particular move and thus be unable to use it. My solution after struggling for a while and placing four pieces of gear in the left leaning crack was to put a 48 inch runner in my last piece and place my foot in it. My partner immediately informed me that I was putting my foot in the sling. I informed him that I was doing this on purpose. Standing in the slings. Dammit! No clean assent. No on-sight lead. The Rat snickered at me. I was pouring with sweat. Then my partner lets me know that this was the start that his friend had put him on. He thought it really should be rated 5.10. What! I raged. I growled. That would have been helpful to know before I fired off out this crack. I thought well on we go. Finish the pitch. I reached up and hauled on a block above him that was hidden behind a bush and I was up on the next ledge. This looked more reasonable. I placed a piece and moved up. I was really sewing it up with all kinds of gear. Really I was placing too much gear. My rack was dwindling fast. I was running out of gear. How much further I yelled to the anchor. My partner didn’t remember. I am running out of gear I whined. You need to get above your gear. Hmmm O.K. Like this. I made several moves with some style. All of a sudden I was 15 feet above my last piece. I threw in a #3 Camalot and rested. Looking up I thought it is really wide up there and I am not sure I can finish with the gear I have left. I had my partner lower me I cleaned a few of my lower pieces and replaced them with a few nuts or hexes pulled myself back up and charged off to the anchor. It wasn’t pretty but I finally got to the anchor. I don’t even remember how long it too, but it was too long. I was tired and happy to have finished the pitch. I brought my partner up. He said his forearms were still smoked from the day before and the weather is building up to bring thunderstorms. We could see the clouds starting to pile up already. We talked it over. It was better to call it a day in bail and move on to the next location. Vedauwoo Wyoming. Nearly 200 miles North from where we were. The Rat raged. What about Pain is Not An Option. I told the Rat to shut up. It is better to cut your loses and not become an epic rescue situation. So the next adventure was the hike down the hill on the marble strewn goat path. I felt like gravity had been turned up a few degrees or the earth had shifted a little. It was harder going down and not end up on your ass or tumbling down the hill through cactus bushes. We finally got to the bottom of the hill and our quads in our legs were well done. You could have served them on a plate they were so cooked. We were in pain. The Rat was placated and had a warm spot in his belly.

We met a friend in Denver and hit the store for more supplies. We removed the climber’s tape. We had learned our lesson. We got to camp in Vedauwoo and set everything up and got dinner going. Our friend brought steak. We ate like kings. The next day would be another early one so off to bed for day three. We planned on going to the Valley Massif and give a go at Monkey Wrench or Screw. We got up and got ready for the day. I has brought my Bodum French Press. Makes the best coffee in the world. I was in heaven. Good friends, good coffee, and good climbing. We hiked over and ended up getting on a climb we had done before called Soft Touch. The guidebook indicates that it is a 5.5 climb with two moves of 5.7. Our thinking is that it is 5.7 because if you can’t make the 5.7 move you are screwed. The ratings at Vedauwoo are stiff and the off width cracks don’t help. My buddy made it up the first crux and set an anchor and belayed our fiend up. Then lowered her back down. Then it was my turn to lead the second crux move. I sent it with no problem. We then rapped off and could see the weather was again going to be a factor. More thunderstorms. We changed the plan as we wanted to give our friend some more climbing. We decided on an easy 5.6 that we had climbed before. It was short.

We rushed over to it and got ready. I led it and brought the other two up. Then the weather looked really dicey. We thought we would be walking off but that was not a good option with our new climber friend in tow so we devised a better plan were my partner and our friend would rap off and I would down climb the route. The Rat was standing up and clapping. Fun and adventure with rain imminent. While down climbing my partner was giving suggestions and I asked him not to as I was trying to concentrate on what I was doing at the moment as I glanced up at the thunderheads. I made it down in one piece and we packed up and headed for the trail. We decided to call the route Under The Gun because of the possibility of getting caught in the lightening and rain. Another friend drove up from Denver that night and we all made our plans for the next and last day of climbing on this trip. We decided to split up and climb in two teams of two. I would take one of the friends up the classic route at Vedauwoo on Walt’s Wall, Edwards Crack. My partner would take our new climber out for some slab and chimney technique training on some easy rock scrambling. We all enjoyed the time around the campfire and had the folk favorite S’mores. A climbers camp is always fun and the stories that are told and the best, especially more enjoyable with a full belly.

We got an early start and I led Edwards Crack with two pieces on the first pitch and five on the second. I really like to set up the anchor just about the crux so I can assist the second if need be. We finish both pitches in 45 mins. We had plenty of time to set up a top rope belay for Sattersfield Crack 5.8+. This was another project on the list. I had borrowed enough oversized cams on a previous trip to Vedauwoo to sink two battleships and never got to climb this off width beauty. I can’t remember if it was the weather being bad or if I looked at it and backed off out of intimidation and fear. For my egos sake I would like to believe it was the weather. The Rat eats that stuff up. Rotten Rat. I got on the rope and rapped down to the bottom of the crack and had my partner give me a belay from the top of the route. I cruised the first ¾ of the off width. There was a lot of holds on the face so it was fairly easy and was not a true all off width grunt up the crack. But at the top section there are two options. One is to stay in the off width cave and chimney up and go right or you can go left and go around the boulder to the anchor. The left is the better and more difficult choice. I chose the harder one for the Rats sake. To do this section I was fully in a split with one leg on one side of the crack orifice and one leg on the other. At this point it was really a chimney-stemming problem. The real move was to make a dynamic lunging commitment to jam my hands under to boulder and then move up on smearing my feet on micro ledges on the face. The Rat was squealing as in this position I was 200 feet off the deck and the exposure looking down through my legs was intense. I lunged or threw myself at the boulder and committed to the move. I smeared, grunted, and pulled myself up and around the boulder. At the last two feet I popped off the route and skidded off the route. I cursed the Rat laughed and immediately pointed out that even on a top rope I didn’t get it done. The route would have been spicy on a lead climb, before making the lunging committing move I would have had to reach under the boulder to protect the move with a #1 Camalot. That move would have made the route very spicy indeed. Another project and something for the Rat to play with on the plane ride home. We were done now all that was left was to pack up and get to Denver and fly home.

We had finished the tour with four days of great climbing, lots of pain, and great times around the campfire with good friend in some of my favorite climbing venues. This was certainly the trip of a lifetime and the Rat was even satisfied. All the preparation paid off with huge dividends and I had enough energy left over to make it home. My partner and I are planning the next adventure for this Fall and I will be hosting here in Oregon. It never really stops. There are too many rocks and mountains to climb to ever be truly done. Climbing to me is that thirst for adventure.